Where do you want to go eat?.....

A simple question which usually gets the same reply, "McDonald's". But what happens when you say that you are tired of eating there and want some place different? You would be surprised at what kids come up with.
My daughter dragged her brother in his room and put a special shirt on him. They come out and say, "We want to go to Red Monster" (Red Lobster) I was puzzled until I seen my son with a lobster shirt on. They were very determined. The funny thing is that they only eat the cheddar biscuits there. I think next time I will just decide myself and tell them where we are going. lol

Damn Gummi Bears

Why all this hostility towards Gummi Bears? Because they started it all...the Gummi Worms, Gummi Spiders etc. Now I have nothing against the idea of eating tasty critters, heck if I was a kid I would have loved to imagine I was eating a spider or worm. However, they crossed the line with a particular type of the rubbery confection.
I came home from work one day and Jake made a rather disturbing, but not quite shocking announcement from a 4 yr. old... "I like boogers!"
"What was that, Jake?"
"I like boogers, they taste good."
"Okay, Jake, you are not supposed to eat boogers. That's gross."
"But, I like boogers, they're yummy."
"Jake, I better not catch you eating any boogers, you'll be in trouble."
"But, boogers are good, I like to eat them."

You guessed it, they actually make Gummi Boogers.
Thankfully, Jake has not made any proclamations for his love of boogers in public, with me, anyways. I dread the day he does.

To my Readers

Let me apologize to my readers, all 1 of them (lol) for my lack of posts lately. I have been caught up in a lot of things...tests and reports due for my college courses, family matters, etc.
I realize that a having a blog sight means you do just that, you BLOG and the reason people come to your blog is because they find it interesting or entertaining. So hopefully, now that things have settled down a bit I can get back to it.

Halloween

Well tomorrow's Halloween and I'm hoping Jake has a better understanding this year of how to go Trick or Treating. Last year, when someone would answer the door, he thought that was an invitation to go in. At one house, I literally had to chase him right in to the middle of someone's living room; where the family was watching TV. Here' a picture of the boys costumes this year.

Back From Hospital

Good Evening to Everyone: We're back from our trip to L.A. for Sam's surgery. Everything went well, Sam had surgery for strabismus. The doctor cut the upper muscles of both eyes to try and bring them downward (he has already had the side muscles cut). We thought Sam's vision was terrible because every time he tried to read something he would put it right up to his face, but also hold it below his face. That was so he could look upward at what he was reading; which is when his vision is best.
The doctor noticed this when he had Sam read the letter board and Sam would bring his chin down and look up at the letters. His vision was about 20/60 when he looked upward at what he was reading.
Anyways, the doctor was very pleased with how the surgery turned out and is very certain it will help.
Sam impressed every staff member he came in contact with; even a pediatric cardiologist who was there for eye surgery. They couldn't believe how knowledgeable he was about medical things (he has insisted that he is going to be a pediatrician when he grows up) or how many intelligent questions he would ask. I literally had 4 doctors, including his, and every nurse that cared for him mention something about his intelligence or inquisitiveness. One anesthesiologist told me he couldn't keep up with Sam's questions, join the club, doctor.

Blogs

Hi, Just wanted to let everyone know I won't be adding anything for a few days as Sam is going in for eye surgery in L.A. Should be back in a few days.

Jakeism 10-20-08

Tonight Jake saw me getting some chocolate out of the 'fridge and asked for a piece. I told him it was dark chocolate and he probably wouldn't like it. Of course, telling a child they're not going to like chocolate is pretty much a waste of words.
Anyways, I gave him a piece, which he proceeded to devour. After he ate it I asked him if he like it.
His response, " Yea, I like that glow-in-the-dark chocolate."

Under-Roo's Linked to Headaches

Last week we were at a friends house and Anya was playing so hard that she didn't quite make it to the bathroom on time. Since this has not happened in ages we had nothing for her to wear. So her brother being the nice guy that he is, opens his lunch box and pulls out a pair of Scooby Doo under-roo's and handed them to her(he's so prepared. I didn't even ask him to bring them). So after 15 minutes of consoling her, telling her that no one cares if she wears boy underware, she finally puts them on. Then on the ride home, her brother was singing and I was laughing and she got upset and said that we were making her headache "worser". When I asked,"Do you have a headache?" the reply was,"Yes! Don't you know these boy underwares are giving me a headache!"

Shoes

I was walking Sam to school today and sense he didn't PE, I let him wear his generic Vans slip-on shoes. While we were walking I heard a yell behind me. It was Sam yelling about his shoe falling off his foot (he has a bad habit of over-reacting to little things-don't know where he gets that from) well, I went back to help him put the shoe back on and as I was doing so he asked me why it had fallen off. I told him, "Because it's a slip-on shoe."
He asked, "Why do thay call it slip-on shoe?'
To which, I replied, "Because it just slips on your foot, it doesn't have any laces or straps."
Not entirely satisfied with my answer, he responded "Well, it's also a slip-off shoe."
How right you are, Sam. How right you are.

New Underwear

When it became apparent that Jake no longer required diapers (one of the greatest milestones, at least for the wallet) and was potty trained, we pursued the next obvious step. We bought him some underwear.

Now these days you can't just buy plain old underwear, oh no, they have to have the child's favorite character on them. For Jake that was Elmo.

When we got home we left the package on the table not thinking how irresistible a package with Elmo on it would be to Jake.

Sure enough, he got in to it, and as I learned, being potty trained doesn't exactly mean a child knows what to do with a pair of underwear, as you can see by the pictures.

I'll bet you never thought you would see a T-Rex wearing a pair of Elmo underwear.

A little X-Mas tip

This story was relayed to me from a friend at work and corroborated by video on his cell phone. This happened during his son's 3rd birthday party. With X-mas coming up I think it's something to keep in mind.

Anyways, his son had just opened a gift from his Aunt, (my friends sister) after he unfolds the shirt you can hear his aunt trying to convince him what a cool gift it is, "Wow, look at that! It's a shark! Isn't that cool?" she says. "It's a shark, isn't that cool?"
Her nephew's reaction, "WHAT THE HELL!" "Your supposed to buy me toys."
The room, of course, erupted in laughter.
Just something to keep in mind with X-mas on the way. Kids want toys!

A talk about marriage

As you were on the subject of marriage I thought I would contribute my conversation I had with my two children Aiden 3, and Anya 5 while in a waiting room at the OB/GYN the other day.

They had seen pictures of babies, and my daughter Anya said that when she marries she will have a baby. Of course, my son blurts out and told her that she was going to have a "guy" baby. After I had calmed Anya down, and reassured her that we don't even know the sex of her future baby until it happens.... she asks me "I wonder who I will marry and have my baby with?" Aiden, always to have the last word says,"Me, of course!" The whole waiting room was snickering along with me.
I tried to explain to both of them that they are not to marry their family. But every time, Anya would say a different family member's name.
But, Aiden wasn't giving up that she was going to marry "Aiden". So I told him that maybe her dream guy will be named Aiden too, and he seemed ok with that and shut up.
Anya was still thinking of men that aren't her family. Then...."I will just marry Dr. Walker"(their pediatrician who happens to work in the same building and 50 years her senior).
I whispered to her, "If he is still around when you are finished with college and old enough to marry, you go right ahead." LMAO

More Jakeisms

Last night I took the family to The Yard House for dinner. When Jake asked where we were going I said, "The Yard House."
Jake said, "Oh, My House."
"No," I replied. "Yard House."
"Yea, My House."
"No, we're going to THE Yard House."
"Oh" Jake said. "THE My House."
"Okay, Jake," I responded. "Whatever you say buddy."

Actual Dinner Conversation

This conversation took place at our dinner table last year with about a, month and a half, left to go in the school year.

Sam, "I'm getting married!"
Me, "Really?" " To who?"
Sam, "Samantha."
Looking at my wife, quizzically (I know the girls in his class, and had never heard of her) I ask, "Who's Samantha?"
Wife, "She's a new girl in his class."
Sam, "Yea, and I'm going to marry her."
Me, "You are?"
Sam, "Yep, and we're going to have 3 kids, Jerry, Tim, and Tom."
Me, "Wow! 3 boys, and you already named them."
Sam, "Yep, and we're going to move far away."
Wife, "Well, don't move too far. I want to be able to see my grandchildren."
Wife, "Why don't you move to San Diego."
Me, "No, they're going to move to the country, so we can go fishing when we come to visit."
Sam with a most serious look on his face, "Daddy, girls don't like the country."
Where he got that idea from, I have no idea.
Me, "Well, if your going to marry this girl, you are going to do it properly. Your going to ask her dad for permission to marry her."
Sam, "But, I don't know his phone number."
Me, "Your not going to call him. Your going to ask him in person."
Sam, "But, I don't even know where they live."
Me, "Well, maybe you should hold off on the marriage until you know her better."
Sam, "Okay!"

Another Jakeism

Tor -ta-teeha: a thin flat Mexican bread, cooked on a hot griddle and eaten folded, with a filling.

Jakeisms

Jake has created so many of his own terms for things that I have started to refer to them as "Jakeisms." His latest is, "Get well." Meaning medicine. It's that time of year again, school time, and Sam has already brought home a bug, now Jake has it (so far just some coughing and sneezing). He came up to me tonight and asked me for some, "Get well" I just laughed and walked away, as I normally do when I don't have a clue what he means, which is frequently.
Then when I came in his room to tuck him into bed he told me that momma had given him some, "Get well" I finally "got" it.
Get well: Medicine for children when they don't feel well.
I would like to hear your kids own special words or "isms."

What happens when kids dress themselves

I don't remember how old Sam was when this picture was taken, but this is the result when I told him to get some clothes on. I don't ever remember watching any AC/DC videos around him, so I don't know how he came up with the Angus Young look

Not Just For Baking

After a long day at work my back was aching, after a long day with the boys momma needed some rest; so she took a nap, and I decided to soak in a hot bath.

Everything sounded normal in the living room, Spongebob was on the TV and since I didn't hear anything, I assumed the boys were engrossed in the latest adventures of Spongebob and Patrick. Well, we all know what they say about assuming.

Imagine my surprise when I walked out into the living room and found everything covered in a white powdery substance. The living room looked like Hollywood was shooting a sequel to, "Scarface" (those of you that have seen the movie will know what I'm talking about). Everything was covered with this white substance, the TV, the sofa, the coffee table, and the floor. And speaking of the floor there were my two angels...making "snow angels" on our living room floor!

Apparently, they wanted to play in some snow and decided to created their own, with the help of a Costco size box of Bisquick.

As you can see, our new kitten, "Prissy" wasn't quick enough to escape the storm.

Just in case your wondering, it took about 2 hours to clean up.

Now, we were so distracted with the mess, that we figured the quickest way to clean the boys would be to throw them in the tub. Forgetting, of course, what happens to Bisquick when it is mixed with water. Now, I know they're not the first kids to have paste in their hair...but they might be the first to "make" paste in their hair.

Taste Great...Great Fitting

This is Jake, I 'd say between 2-3 yrs. We were enjoying some delicious pizza while watching TV. I looked over and saw that Jake had discovered that pizza had more uses than just tasting great and giving us heartburn. He was sitting there casually watching TV, not trying to show off or think he was being funny.

I can't help but wonder what he thought he had discovered...a new hat, perhaps, a head warmer, or maybe he was feeling a little self -conscious about his thin hair. I don't know, but it was funny enough that I forgave him for wasting a perfectly good piece of pizza.

Why am I Doing This

I decided to start this blog after noticing how I made people laugh when I would share stories about my two boys (Sam & Jake). Then, after I was done someone would share a funny story about one of their kids, and everybody would get a good laugh. It was then, that I realized that stories about the things our kids say, and/or do, cross all boundries. Some people don't like or "get" certain genres of jokes, e.g., political, religious, etc. but everybody seems to enjoy a, "Silly Kid Tale," so long as it is tasteful, (we can definitly do without poop stories) even though every parent has more than they wanted.Since they say laughter is the best medicine, I decided to cure the world (or at least anyone that views this blog) and share some of my "Silly Kid(s) tales" and hope you will share some of yours. This is my first blog so be patient with me and hopefully you will enjoy some of these stories.

A Little Background

Both of the boys were preemies. Sam was extremely premature, coming into this world nearly 3 months early on Nov. 25 th, 2000, weighing in at a whooping 1lb., 13oz. He went through every negative thing that a baby that premature could go through. Thankfully, it was all on the mild side. He does have issues, (CP being one of them) however, he is very smart and to say that his mind works a little different would be an understatement. He has insisted for over two yrs. now that he is going to be a pediatrician; he has never wavered from this. While my wife was pregnant with him she could not eat meat, couldn't even stand the smell of it without getting sick. To this day, after nearly 8 yrs. Sam has refused to eat meat.
Now on to Jake. He survived in the womb about a month and 1/2 longer than Sam. He came into the world, 5-16-04 and weighed in at 3 lbs. 9 0z. What a difference that little extra time bought. Whereas, Sam spent 3 mos. in the hospital, Jake spent 3 weeks. While pregnant with Jake my wife craved Carls Jr. Western Bacon Cheeseburgers (what a change up, huh) Jake is a big time meat eater, especially, when it comes to bacon. He reminds me of that dog in the commercials, "Bacon, I smell bacon."
To say these two are complete opposites is putting it mild. But make no mistake about it, mess with one of them and the other one will be on you before you know what happened.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy the stories and most of all, GET A LAUGH OUT OF THEM!
Now, even though I think I've got the funniest kids around, I know just about every parent will beg to differ. So I look forward to hearing some of your stories. I will also relay kid stories from my friends and co-workers.